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Fostering a Harmonious Marriage

Islamic Religious Council of Singapore

Friday Sermon

17 May 2024 / 8 Zulkaedah 1445H

Fostering a Harmonious Marriage


My blessed Friday congregants,

Let us continue in our efforts to elevate our taqwa towards Allah s.w.t. by obeying all His commands, and by abstaining from all His prohibitions. May Allah s.w.t. bless and protect our families from any negative elements that could lead to the breaking of the marriage we have built. Amin Ya Rabbal ‘alamin.

Dear brothers,

Marriage life is among the signs of Allah's greatness. And Allah does not leave us without reasons to succeed in this family life. Let us reflect upon the words of Allah s.w.t. in Surah ar-Rum, verse 21:


Which means: “And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you love and mercy. Verily, in that are signs for a people who reflect.”

Indeed, the pillar of harmony of a marriage is built upon the foundation and reason of three main values as mentioned in the verse. Sakinah (tranquillity), Mawaddah(love), and Rahmah (compassion).

Every couple should work together to build a harmonious marriage, and to foster a happy family. They should be merciful to each other; helping each other in fulfilling the needs and safeguarding the welfare of the marriage.

My beloved brothers,

Most couples today are busy with their own careers. However, I would like to remind us that our careers should not be used as an excuse for neglecting the need to give our families our attention and affection. What is the meaning of personal success if our family life is neglected? Amid his duties and responsibilities, the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. did not neglect his wife and family. In a hadith narrated by Al-Aswad bin Yazid, it is mentioned which means: “I asked Aisyah r.a.: ‘What did the Prophet s.a.w. do at home?’ Aisyah replied: ‘He would be at the service of his family. And when it was time for prayer, he would go out to pray.’” (Hadith narrated by Imam al-Bukhari).

As such, how do we find a balance between the demands of work, and maintaining a harmonious marriage?

Dear Friday congregants,

Allow me to share three steps as a guide for us:

Firstly: Foster a culture of healthy communication. This is key to a successful relationship. The culture and skill of communication can be nurtured and developed. Start with simple practices such as positive communication in the morning and upon returning home. This will spread positive vibes within the family. This is essential for couples after a tiring day meeting life's demands. This is the tranquillity and tenderness mentioned in the earlier recited verse.

Communication is key to understanding our spouses and family members better. Good communication is a positive step towards building trust among family members, which in turn would increase the love and mutual respect.

Secondly: To communicate better with our spouses, we need to be good listeners. Every family member, be it husband or wife, parent or child, needs to be a good listener. This is crucial because it supports the process of communicationwithin the family. The Qur’an recorded a story of Prophet Yaakub a.s. who, as a father, spent time listening attentively to his son, Prophet Yusuf a.s., narrating to him the story of his dream.

My brothers,

Thirdly: Last week's sermon reminded us about the importance of lifelong learning. It is also equally important, to deepen our understanding of marriage. There are many courses organised by social service agencies, such as the "Cinta Abadi" programme for couples who are about to get married and build a marriageof their own. Similarly, there are parenting or family courses for those who are already married.

Attending such courses is very important, especially for learning effective communication techniques, as well as learning about how to balance our roles and responsibilities towards our parents and families after marriage, and so on. It is also a way for us to build and maintain a family that is SakinahMawaddah, and Rahmah.

May Allah s.w.t. bless all our efforts, and may He grant us the tranquillity of family life in this world and the Hereafter. Amin Ya Rabbal ‘alamin.

أَقُوْلُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ العَظِيْمَ لِي وَلَكُمْ، فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الغَفُوْرُ الرَّحِيْم



الحَمْدُ للهِ حَمْدًا كَثِيرًا كَمَا أَمَرَ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَن لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ سَيِّدَنَا مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ. اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ. أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَيَا عِبَادَ الله، اِتَّقُوا اللهَ تَعَالَى فِيمَا أَمَرَ، وَانتَهُوا عَمَّا نَهَاكُم عَنْهُ وَزَجَرَ.

My fellow Muslims rahimakumullah,

Our hearts are grieving. Our souls are disturbed. However, we will never lose hope in the mercy of Allah. The humanitarian crisis continues to worsen in Gaza and Rafah. Over 35,000 lives have been lost. Hundreds of thousands more are without shelter and basic necessities. We do not condone any form of injustice and oppression.

However, we continue to have faith in the mercy and wisdom of Allah s.w.t. Let us continue to pray, with full conviction, for this conflict to be swiftly halted, and for humanity to be restored.

We raise our hands with humility and reflection, praying for Allah s.w.t. to revive the seeds of peace and prosperity. For the people of Palestine in particular, and for the world at large. O Allah! Grant our request, and hear the cries of our hearts in these mustajab moments.

Ya Allah, Ya Qawi, Ya Matin,

With great humility, we beseech You to protect our brothers and sisters who are facing oppression, conflict and humanitarian crisis in Gaza, Rafah, and wherever they may be.

Ya Hafiz, Ya Muqit, restore safety and peace to our brothers and sisters who are in distress and anxiety. Grant them resilience and strengthen their hearts, so that they may steadfastly face their challenges with full confidence in Your assistance. Free them from the shackles of oppression.

Ya Muntasir, resolve this conflict. Open for them clear paths out of their predicament. Look upon those affected with Your mercy. Grant them Your abundant grace in this world and the next. Grant our pleas and our prayers, Ya Mujibad Du’a wa Ya Qadiyal Hajaat, Ya Arhamar Rahimin.

أَلَا صَلُّوا وَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى النَّبِيِّ الْمُصْطَفَى، فَقَدْ أَمَرَنَا اللهُ بِذَلِكَ حَيْثُ قَال فِي كِتَابِهِ العَزِيزِ: إِنَّ اللهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ يَـا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا. اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ وَبَارِكْ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ. 

وَارْضَ اللَّهُمَّ عَنِ الخُلَفَاءِ الرَّاشِدِينَ المَهْدِيِّينَ سَادَاتِنَا أَبِي بَكْرٍ وَعُمَرَ وَعُثْمَانَ وَعَلِيِّ، وَعَن بَقِيَّةِ الصَّحَابَةِ وَالقَرَابَةِ وَالتَّابِعِينَ، وَتَابِعِي التَّابِعِينَ، وَعَنَّا مَعَهُم وَفِيهِم بِرَحْمَتِكَ يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ. 

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِلمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالمُؤْمِنَاتِ، وَالمُسْلِمِينَ وَالمُسْلِمَاتِ، الأَحْيَاءِ مِنهُم وَالأَمْوَاتِ. اللَّهُمَّ ادْفَعْ عَنَّا البَلَاءَ وَالوَبَاءَ وَالزَّلَازِلَ وَالمِحَنَ، مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ، عَن بَلَدِنَا خَاصَّةً، وَسَائِرِ البُلْدَانِ عَامَّةً، يَا رَبَّ العَالَمِينَ. اَللَّهُمَّ انْصُرْ إِخْوَانَنَا اْلمُسْتَضْعَفِيْنَ فِي غَزَّة وَفِي فِلِسْطِينَ وَفِيْ كُلِّ مَكَانٍ عَامَّةً، يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ. اَللَّهُمَّ بَدِّلْ خَوْفَهُمْ أَمْنًا، وَحُزْنَهُمْ فَرَحًا، وَهَمَّهُمْ فَرَجًا، يَا رَبَّ العَالَمِينَاَللَّهُمَّ اكْتُبِ السِّلْمَ وَالسَّلاَموَاْلأَمْنَ وَاْلأَمَانَ لِلْعَالَمِ أَجْمَع يَا لَطِيْفرَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنيَا حَسَنَةً، وَفِي الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً، وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ.

عِبَادَ اللهِ، إِنَّ اللهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالعَدْلِ وَالإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي القُرْبَى، وَيَنْهَى عَنِ الفَحْشَاءِ وَالمُنكَرِ وَالبَغْيِ، يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ، فَاذكُرُوا اللهَ العَظِيمَ يَذْكُرْكُمْ، وَاشْكُرُوهُ عَلَى نِعَمِهِ يَزِدْكُمْ، وَاسْأَلُوهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ يُعْطِكُم، وَلَذِكْرُ اللهِ أَكْبَرُ، وَاللهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ.