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Etiquette of Visiting Relatives

Islamic Religious Council of Singapore

Friday Sermon

28 April 2023 / 7 Syawal 1444H

Etiquette of Visiting Relatives

My beloved brothers and sisters in Islam,

Let us continue our efforts to increase our taqwa towards Allah (s.w.t.), by obeying all His orders, and by abstaining from all His prohibitions. May Allah (s.w.t.) accept all our good deeds and make us among His righteous servants. Amin.

My fellow Muslims,

Alhamdulillah, we have been granted another opportunity to celebrate the month of Syawal this year. Usually in the month of Syawal, we will visit the homes of one another.

This admirable tradition is important in our culture as it brings benefits to individuals, particularly by leaving a positive impact in their social life.

In fact, this tradition of visiting our relatives during Hari Raya is a way for us to gain the pleasure of Allah (s.w.t.). It is narrated in a hadith Qudsi that Allah (s.w.t.) said:

وَجَبَتْ مَحَبَّتِي لِلْمُتَحَابِّينَ فِيَّ وَالْمُتَجَالِسِينَ فِيَّ وَالْمُتَزَاوِرِينَ فِيَّ وَالْمُتَبَاذِلِينَ فِيَّ

Which means: "My love is certain for those who love each other because of Me, who sit together because of Me, who visit each other because of Me, and who spend on each other because of Me." (Hadith narrated by Imam Ahmad)

However, in our efforts to keep this tradition alive, we must strive to observe the good manners and appropriate conduct as per Islamic teachings.

My brothers and sisters,

As part of today’s sermon, I invite all those gathered here today to reflect upon one of the important good manners as taught by the Qur’an. The following verse teaches us the etiquette and moral values that should be observed when we visit our relatives.

Remember, my brothers and sisters, there is no benefit in performing a good deed without paying attention to the actual principles and values.

Allah (s.w.t.) said in the Qur’an:

Which means: "O believers! Do not enter any house that is not your house, until you have first asked for permission and greeted its inhabitants. That is better for you, so that you are mindful (of the rules and etiquette)." (Surah An-Nur: 27)

This verse provides us with a very important guideline when it comes to visiting our relatives (or friends). Although it emphasises the importance of asking for permission before visiting others, let us ponder upon a specific word mentioned in this verse.

The word "Al-Uns" as mentioned in the verse refers to the host being happy with the arrival of guests. Allah (s.w.t.) forbids us from visiting those who do not welcome the presence of guests in their homes.

What this means for us is that when the homeowner is not ready to receive or welcome guests, we should find another time or opportunity to pay them a visit. This is to preserve the rights of the homeowners.

Imam Al-Tabari narrated the story behind why this verse was revealed.

It was narrated that a woman from the Ansar came to the Prophet (s.a.w.) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I am in my house in a state that I do not like to be seen by anyone, whether it is my father or my son. My father often comes and enters my house, and so do other men from my family, while I am in such a state. What should I do?” After this, the verse was revealed by Allah (s.w.t.).

SubhanAllah! From this narration, we come to know that even those with blood relations should request permission before visiting one another, let alone a friend or those who are not related to us by blood.

My brothers and sisters,  

In our efforts to visit our relatives, let us not forget the etiquette that we have just reflected upon. We should strive to fully observe the good manners that Islam has taught us.

Do not let our presence cause any difficulties or unhappiness to our hosts. Homeowners may not be ready to receive guests for various reasons. Therefore, we should ensure that they are ready and willing to receive guests before we visit.

Similarly, when we are in their homes, let us strive to maintain good manners by lowering our gaze. We must remember to observe our speech and avoid making unnecessary comments that may offend the hosts. Let us strive to treat others the way we would like to be treated. This is because a true believer is careful regarding his manners and his behaviour, making sure that the people around him feel comfortable around him or her.

May Allah (s.w.t) bless our efforts in visiting one another, and may He grant us good manners. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

أَقُوْلُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَ أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ العَظِيْمَ لِي وَ لَكُمْ، فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الغَفُوْرُ الرَّحِيْم


Second Sermon

الحَمْدُ للهِ حَمْدًا كَثِيرًا كَمَا أَمَرَ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَن لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ سَيِّدَنَا مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ. اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ. أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَيَا عِبَادَ الله، اِتَّقُوا اللهَ تَعَالَى فِيمَا أَمَرَ، وَانتَهُوا عَمَّا نَهَاكُم عَنْهُ وَزَجَرَ.

أَلَا صَلُّوا وَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى النَّبِيِّ الْمُصْطَفَى، فَقَدْ أَمَرَنَا اللهُ بِذَلِكَ حَيْثُ قَال فِي كِتَابِهِ العَزِيزِ: إِنَّ اللهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ يَـا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسلِيمًا. اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ وَ بَارِكْ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ.

وَارْضَ اللَّهُمَّ عَنِ الخُلَفَاءِ الرَّاشِدِينَ المَهْدِيِّينَ أَبِي بَكْرٍ وَعُمَرَ وَعُثْمَانَ وَعَلِيِّ، وَعَن بَقِيَّةِ الصَّحَابَةِ وَالقَرَابَةِ وَالتَّابِعِينَ، وَتَابِعِي التَّابِعِينَ، وَعَنَّا مَعَهُم وَفِيهِم بِرَحْمَتِكَ يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ.

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِلمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالمُؤْمِنَاتِ، وَالمُسْلِمِينَ وَالمُسْلِمَاتِ، الأَحْيَاءِ مِنهُم وَالأَمْوَاتِ. اللَّهُمَّ ادْفَعْ عَنَّا البَلَاءَ وَالوَبَاءَ وَالزَّلَازِلَ وَالمِحَنَ، مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ، عَن بَلَدِنَا خَاصَّةً، وَسَائِرِ البُلْدَانِ عَامَّةً، يَارَبَّ العَالَمِينَ. رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنيَا حَسَنَةً، وَفِي الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً، وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ. 

عِبَادَ اللهِ، إِنَّ اللهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالعَدْلِ وَالإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي القُرْبَى، وَيَنْهَى عَنِ الفَحْشَاءِ وَالمُنكَرِ وَالبَغْيِ، يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ، فَاذكُرُوا اللهَ العَظِيمَ يَذْكُركُمْ، وَاشْكُرُوهُ عَلَى نِعَمِهِ يَزِدكُمْ، وَاسْأَلُوهُ مِن فَضلِهِ يُعطِكُم، وَلَذِكرُ اللهِ أَكبَرُ، وَاللهُ  يَعلَمُ مَا تَصنَعُونَ.