collections khutbah Role of Parents in Shaping their Children’s Identities
Role of Parents in Shaping their Children’s Identities

Islamic Religious Council of Singapore

Friday Sermon

19 August 2022 / 21 Muharram 1444H

Role of Parents in Shaping their Children’s Identities

My beloved brothers and sisters,

Let us increase our taqwa in Allah (s.w.t.) by obeying all His commands, and avoiding His prohibitions. May we be placed amongst the righteous ones in the Hereafter. Amin.

Brothers and sisters,

Children are gifts entrusted to us by Allah (s.w.t.). Equipping them with religious knowledge is one of the responsibilities of parents for which we will be questioned in the afterlife. Our children's education begins at home. The home is thus the first school for them – the place where they begin to learn about knowledge and life.

There are several stories in the Quran that showcase the role of parents in educating their children. For example, the story of Luqman al-Hakim. In the Qur’an, Allah (s.w.t.) has documented some advice and lessons that should be taken as example, such as his advice to his son to always obey Allah (s.w.t.). Allah (s.w.t.) said:

Which means: O my dear son! Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and endure patiently whatever befalls you. Because surely those are indicative of true resolve regarding His commands.” (Surah Luqman:17).

Brothers and sisters,

This story that was featured in the Qur’an, along with various other stories regarding the education of youth, demonstrate the importance of parents in prioritizing their children welfare, as well in putting effort in developing their personality and thoughts.

This is because if a child is allowed to grow up in a chaotic environment, surrounded by disreputable activities, and being influenced by things that are negative - these will all surely become the norm for them when they grow up. As the saying goes: "The apple does not fall far from the tree.".

My fellow Muslims,

The story of Luqman's advice as shown above clearly shows how Luqman prioritised education and the appreciation of religious values ​​in guiding his son. This is because a genuine understanding of religious values ​​plays an important role in shaping the character and personality of a true Muslim.

As part of our efforts to develop and educate our children, it is imperative that their education is based upon the Shariah principles and values, as well as meeting the natural development and understanding levels of children. For example, if the child is a boy, then he should be treated as a boy. As such, a boy should not be dressed in girls’ clothes, and vice versa.

It was narrated from Sayyidah A'ishah (r.a.) that: "In the past I used to play with a girl doll next to the Prophet (s.a.w.). I used to have friends who would play with me.” (Hadith narrated by Imam al-Bukhari).

Imam Qadi al-'Iyadh said that playing with dolls was allowed for Sayyidah Aisyah (r.a.), as it trained her in something that suited her nature as a female, as she grows up.

Brothers and sisters,

If what I have mentioned is related to the development of children when they are young, there is another age level that Islam places a great deal of emphasis on, which is when children are in their teenage years. This is because at that age, their levels of energy and confidence are at their highest.

Adolescence is the age when a person needs to start taking responsibility for his or her behavior. Many decisions are required to be made at this age. It is also the time when their mental capacity is at optimum, their enthusiasm to try new things is at its height, and they possess the courage to take risks. That is the age when humans are at their strongest, and this strength should be harnessed to benefit their lives, as well as the lives of those around them.

The Prophet (s.a.w) reminded us in his “five before five” hadith: we should seize five blessings before five difficulties come. Among these five blessings is that of youth, which we should take advantage of, before old age comes. (Hadith narrated by Al-Bukhari)

Therefore, pay particular attention to ensure that the religious needs of your children are always met, more specifically when they are in their teenage years. May Allah (s.w.t.) grant us His divine help and guidance in educating our children, and in protecting them from all elements that contradict the teachings of Islam. Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.

أَقُوْلُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَ أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ العَظِيْمَ لِي وَ لَكُمْ، فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الغَفُوْرُ الرَّحِيْم


Second Sermon

الحَمْدُ للهِ حَمْدًا كَثِيرًا كَمَا أَمَرَ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَن لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ سَيِّدَنَا مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ. اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ. أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَيَا عِبَادَ الله، اِتَّقُوا اللهَ تَعَالَى فِيمَا أَمَرَ، وَانتَهُوا عَمَّا نَهَاكُم عَنْهُ وَزَجَرَ.

أَلَا صَلُّوا وَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى النَّبِيِّ الْمُصْطَفَى، فَقَدْ أَمَرَنَا اللهُ بِذَلِكَ حَيْثُ قَال فِي كِتَابِهِ العَزِيزِ: إِنَّ اللهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ يَـا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسلِيمًا. اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ وَ بَارِكْ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ.

وَارْضَ اللَّهُمَّ عَنِ الخُلَفَاءِ الرَّاشِدِينَ المَهْدِيِّينَ أَبِي بَكْرٍ وَعُمَرَ وَعُثْمَانَ وَعَلِيِّ، وَعَن بَقِيَّةِ الصَّحَابَةِ وَالقَرَابَةِ وَالتَّابِعِينَ، وَتَابِعِي التَّابِعِينَ، وَعَنَّا مَعَهُم وَفِيهِم بِرَحْمَتِكَ يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ.

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِلمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالمُؤْمِنَاتِ، وَالمُسْلِمِينَ وَالمُسْلِمَاتِ، الأَحْيَاءِ مِنهُم وَالأَمْوَاتِ. اللَّهُمَّ ادْفَعْ عَنَّا البَلَاءَ وَالوَبَاءَ وَالزَّلَازِلَ وَالمِحَنَ، مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ، عَن بَلَدِنَا خَاصَّةً، وَسَائِرِ البُلْدَانِ عَامَّةً، يَارَبَّ العَالَمِينَ. رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنيَا حَسَنَةً، وَفِي الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً، وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ.

عِبَادَ اللهِ، إِنَّ اللهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالعَدْلِ وَالإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي القُرْبَى، وَيَنْهَى عَنِ الفَحْشَاءِ وَالمُنكَرِ وَالبَغْيِ، يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ، فَاذكُرُوا اللهَ العَظِيمَ يَذْكُركُمْ، وَاشْكُرُوهُ عَلَى نِعَمِهِ يَزِدكُمْ، وَاسْأَلُوهُ مِن فَضلِهِ يُعطِكُم، وَلَذِكرُ اللهِ أَكبَرُ، وَاللهُ  يَعلَمُ مَا تَصنَعُونَ.